I was on my way to bed, (because its almost 11:00, and ridiculous for me to be up!) when i got very very sad. My baby is 1 yr old next week. She has been eating so much table food, the last two weeks, and walking EVERYWHERE. She's so... independent. You knew it would happen, I knew it would happen - she has gone from needing me every 2 hours (this is not an exaggeration when describing much of her last 11.5 months of life) to being perfectly fine, playing by herself or with Benjamin for long portions of the day. I have dreamed of this day for 5ish months. I've felt claustrophobic, smothered, matronly, disheveled, unattractive, boring, did I say claustrophobic...? but only for about 10 or 15 minutes at the end of the day, when sanity beckons me and productivity can be put off no more. When I have a rush of selfishness to do something I want to do, or when I'm hot and can't have another body touching mine. But only for those 10 or so minutes. For the other 23 + hours, I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than reading Hop on Pop for the 3rd time of the day, or giving raspberries to a little girls tummy.
For a year now (actually about a year and 9 months!) I have been her everything. Her food, her sleep...did I mention her food?!?! :) Now she can drink out of a sippy cup, and eats more meat than I do at the supper table. She would rather follow Benjamin at times, than me, and she doesn't care much how long I'm gone, as long as I grab her right away when I get back. I'm going to have to share her, and I don't know if I want to.
But as I mourn the end of our first year, I am so thankful for God's timing. Quite honestly I'm ready to stop wearing nursing bras, I'm ready to not put Benjamin in front of DVD's everytime Violet needs to nurse to sleep, and I'm ready to say, "Joel its your turn to put them to bed!". Even if I'm not at this very moment, I think I would forget how much I loved it, if it lasted much longer...So here's just a cluster of snapshots of recent Violet snuggles. Just so I don't forget...
