Day #1

I was so excited to get home after our many trips. But the past 3 days have been anything but smooth sailing. They have been relaxing in the sense that I can "let my hair down" and make a mess or straighten everything up, or anything I want. It has not been relaxing in the sense that Benjamin got used to being held a lot, and doesn't want anything to change.

As many of you know, I am not "sold" on any specific type of parenting. I think that both "babywise" and "attachment" parenting have quality advice that works for a lot of parents. I think that some can even go as far to jump into one camp wholeheartedly and have babies that grow up to be amazing people. I, however, am scared that I have the personality that would read about one way of parenting, forget that my baby was an individual, and put tons of rules on myself and my baby. Even rules of freedom could get me in trouble.

So for the first 3 months of Benjamin's life I purposefully read nothing and hoped that his personality, wants and needs would "speak" to my maternal instinct and we would live in baby/mommy harmony. I am now dawning on month 4 and reality has struck. I need a plan.

This is what I now know: Benjamin is an individul and needs me to pay attention to his "trends". I am a fan of structure. I like cleaning lists, vacation schedules, and budgets. I want Benjamin to be free to go through growth spurts, sleep in some times, and be hungrier some days than others, but I need to know what the norm is. Some mom's are gifted in just remembering the past week and thinking about what their baby's habits are. I am not one of those moms. I have a horrible memory. Something I am good at though, is loosely following a schedule. So in my best efforts to not go crazy, and not be a crabby mom, today started Benjamin's schedule.

I know that he usually wakes up around 8ish,a.m. and that he usually is ready for sleep around 8ishpm. The problem that I am running into is that he wants to be held for every nap, and if he isn't, will only give me around 30 minutes of sleep. 30 minutes isn't healthy for him or me. Today he had two 30 min naps and one hour nap. He was falling apart around 6 and falling asleep in my arms around 7. Needless to say, he went to bed a bit early

So this next week is a challenge for me. My goal is to get Benjamin on a schedule strict enough to let mom know what makes us both happy, and loose enough to be sensitive to his daily needs. I'll let you know in a week if I have figured anything out about mr. benjamin, or if I'm even more confused and clueless than I am now.

A few things that I do know are: that even if I screw up and have a little too loose or too strict of plan, Benjamin will be loved like crazy... that me staying sane as a mom is almost if not just as important as him being full or rested...and that millions of moms before me have managed to have babies, get them to nap, and have them well fed... that I'm not the first mom to be flustered by this issue, and even if I eventually get it figured out, I'll be challenged again with the next stage, and the next baby.

So here I go! I applaud you moms who have been victors over the challenges of motherhood in the past, and encourage the moms who are in the midst of the battle, ready to give up. Even as Benjamin is crying right now and I could be frustrated at his reluctance to sleep, I remember the sleepy smile he gave me as I put him down two hours ago, and know how lucky I am to be a mom!

before he rolled over

in the process of rolling

mr cool

Tegin Torin and Benjamin

watching the tube

surf'n the net with grandpa dave

cousin Tommy

cousin Henry

cousin Tommy

getting cuter every day

grandma sue with the little boys

daddy says he needs a cigarrette rolled up in his sleeve with thsi outfit

Greetings and Salutations! This morning I woke up in my own bed. It was glorious. We had so much fun in MN with our family, but it was the most tiring trip yet. The fact that it was the 3rd big trip of the summer didn’t help. Living out of a suit case is only fun for a small amount of time. We were able to get together with tons of friends as well as family which was great. Benjamin was terrific as usual, and grew up before our eyes.

Benjamin slept through the night two more times which was fantastic. He is 75% of the way in his effort to roll over from back to tummy. He talks so much, especially in the morning and kicks uncontrollably. He has me slightly stressed with his eating situation. I nurse him during the day, but my supply dwindles and I usually give him one bottle before bed. We got new formula and he started spitting up the babies r us brand, and all the gentle formulas have corn syrup solids as their first ingredient. I tried Organic, but his tummy hurt all day, so its back to Enfamil with lipid. He also started loving Exersaucers while we were gone. He holds himself much better than two weeks ago.

I am so excited to be home for a while. I dont have a strict schedule planned for Benjamin, but he needs a little more regularity than he's had the last three months. We are being so encouraged by all of our chances to share the ministry and hear from friends and family. We have truely loved hearing and sharing prayer request with so many people throughout the summer. It has made us all the more appreciative for our body of Christ.

Well, now we get ready for students to arrive, put together a garage sale, and get ready for my new opportunity of working in a salon one day a week. Hope you all stay cool for the rest of August! Love ya!