Silas Part Three

Silas arrived without much fanfare Tuesday the 24th. Little pain. Few Contractions. No real complications. And he might have been the easiest baby of all times had it not been for his first few hours of crying (excess mucus) and first 24 hour nursing boycott.  He made it quite apparent that he loved to sleep which made conscious activities such as nursing quite difficult. Even when he was a wake he would open his mouth with no interest in sucking.  SO SO THANKFUL that he is my third baby and that I was able to slightly tune out nurses nervous questions and comments when I would let him sleep 4 hours straight, or when they would panic that my nursing log only had "attempts" and not successes.  God gave me a priceless gift of a calm spirit and I think it helped Silas be able to stay calm too.  The second day in the hospital I made sure to get in contact with the lactation consultant and she was AMAZING.  My lactation nurses with Benjamin hadn't been that great, and with Violet I can't remember...But this sweet lady was heaven sent. She focused on encouragement and acted as if I was the only one in the hospital. I remember very little advice she gave me, however the feeling of being fully capable and more than competent at my task of feeding lil Bear was worth more than Gold.  We had two great feedings before we left the hospital (much less than the doctors would have liked, but more than I've ever had with either Benjamin or Violet).  

Silas first night at the hospital is a fuzzy memory, but I remember asking the nurse to take him to the nursery in the middle of the night. He was so sad, and I was so tired and afraid I was going to drop him.  Sadly she brought him back after an hour and told me he wasn't happy there either (I was kind of bitter at the nurse), and in desperation to close my eyes, I tucked Silas in bed with me and got a few hours of sleep! I think most of the mucus had cleared by the second night and we all got much more sleep.  

On the last morning (Thursday) Joel had to go to class, and my amazing momma was home with Benjamin and Violet so Silas and I just slept and practiced nursing all morning.  It was a relaxed morning (before exhaustion set in) and Joel came back to bring us home around lunch time. We grabbed some gas for the car and coffee for our tired selves, and thats how we started the new chapter of life as a family with 5 heads under our roof.

Bear part Two

Where were we?  Oh yes.  8:59 and I walk up to the check in counter and they ask my name and what I'm there for.  I simply said that I thought I was going to have a baby today, and they asked me what made me think that.  My stomach sank and I muttered that I had had painful contractions that were kind of close together, but they weren't any more.  The ladies took their sweet time checking me in and after 20 or 30 minutes (and just 2 contractions) they led me to the triage room.

We had to have been back there for 30-60 minutes.  I don't remember.  I just remember apologizing to Joel if I wasn't really in labor, and therefore wasting his time, and then I remember declaring that I wasn't going to stress and be sorry any more because when I was having the contractions it really seemed like I was in labor, but then in between them it didn't and although my pride didn't want to be wrong, it was impossible to make decisions in that state!

After a few nurses showed confusion over my lack of contractions, a third nurse came in and decided to check me for dilation ect...  She suddenly became quite bewildered and said that things weren't adding up.  She shared that she thought I was a 7 but then started talking about how she just got back from Vacation and she might have forgot a thing or two. She went to get another nurse for confirmation.  Well, that nurse said I was a 7 or 8 and they both looked at me confused.  They said I was right about thinking I was having a baby today, and they needed to go talk to the doctor to see what he wanted me to do.  My body seemed confused on the natural order of events.

The doctor encouraged me to get an epidural, and then they would break my water and hope that my contractions would follow.  So we went ahead with the epidural, had to get a quick shot after about 15 minutes when my blood pressure dropped (it was the worst heavy chest/need to puke feeling), and then Joel and I asked if we could just close our eyes for a few minutes before they broke my water.  They said no problem, and we would have gotten great rest had it not been for a chatty student who showed up.  Dr Bell soon came in to break my water and then things got exciting.

Pause a second.  I need to give a moment credit to my amazing head nurse, and anesthesiologist. My nurse could have delivered me, and almost did, and I would have been fully confident.  And my epidural was great.  It wasn't completely numbing and although the pain surprised me, I preferred it greatly over the experience of feeling fully numb with Benjamin.

Ok, back to the water breaking.  They thought things were going to move crazy fast after they broke it, but it didn't. My contractions didn't speed up that quickly but finally I was a 9, and after she had me tilt to the left while I was laying down, I jumped to a 10 and baby started to come ready or not.
The doctor arrived in minutes, and after a minute and a half of pushing they put this beautiful baby boy on my chest.

Silas David Barrett Lewicki was 7 lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.  He had no interest in nuzzling to nurse like all the skin to skin/Kangaroo Care literature says will happen.  He amazed mommy and daddy with how perfect he looked.  Completely his own handsome self, but yet exactly like his brother and sister had looked.  We were instantly overwhelmed with the priveledge of holding him in our arms and completely and utterly in love.

He could not fit more perfectly in our family.  It took him a little bit to be sure about this world and an excess of mucus in his system made him cry and cough for about 3 hour, and not really nurse for over 24 hours. Benjamin and Violet got to meet their little brother around 6:30 that night and although my memory is fuzzy, the pictures show they too were overwhelmed with love and excitement.

To say were were/are thankful is such an understatement. That thankfulness almost disabled me from being able to write this love story. Fear that I wouldn't convey my gratitude for his life. Sadness for ours and others stories who didn't have this ending. Responsibility to express Joy amongst so many hard and stressful realities in life right now. But a love story it is, and one I need to remember.  We hope it is a love story we never take for granted.

Bear part ONE

This post seems late doesn't it?  Tomorrow my sweet baby Bear will be Three weeks old.  Between a poor memory, the loss of the freshness of his birth, fatigue, unquantifiable amounts of things running around my head and more fatigue I cannot recall Tuesday March 24 with high amounts of accuracy, but I will try...

Friday Night, the 20th Joel and I went to the Barristers Ball. I joked I wanted to dance Bear out, and in my head I was much more serious than joking, but alas the night came and went and my poor dance skills and extra girth prevented a whole lot of jumping and jiving.  Saturday happened and I attended Benjamin and Violets soccer game and after a great quiet time/nap for my babies and I (while daddy worked on law review articles) we quickly made a stop at the library and grocery store.  Sunday was a blur, Church, Costco, baby shower... and Monday...I don't remember Monday.  I'm sure it was a great day;)

Action Time began at 4:29AM Tuesday morning.  At least thats when I started timing contractions. The first hour they were 12 or 13 minutes apart and then at 5:37 they jumped to 6 minutes apart and went between 3 and 8 minutes the next hour and a half.  Around 6:15 I began texting child care options, and I think that sometime between 5:30 and 6:30 I woke Joel up and let him know that I thought we might be meeting our baby soon.  He had only come to bed hours earlier and so I told him to use his time however he thought best, catching up on sleep before the big event or wrapping things up at the office.  He wisely chose sleep!

I woke him up by 7:00 and told him to quick take a shower, because I was ready to go!  Sadly, right after consulting with the OB and having her encourage me to get to the hospital (they always seem alarmed when you're already dilated to a 4) my contractions slowed between 7:11 and 7:41.  I did NOT want to spend all day laboring at the hospital, or worse, to be sent home for false labor so I sent Joel back to bed (or the office) and told him to go wherever he wanted, but to be close enough to take me to the hospital with 10 minutes notice.  God was so gracious and gave Benjamin and Violet the most peaceful compliant attitudes that morning.  They ate their breakfast and stayed at the table to color for an hour, and I bounced on an exercise ball.  At some point, 8:?? my nerves got the best of me, and I woke Joel up saying that my fear of having the baby in the car was winning and I wanted to go to the hospital.  My contractions were mostly under 7 minutes with an occasional 10 minute break, but I was not able to shake the fact that my pain tolerance is higher than my accuracy with recording things.  My neighbor and friend was such a gift and swooped in to love on Benjamin and Violet, and off we went to see about having a baby.

We got to the hospital at 9:59 and we got started with my "non-labor" labor...more on that to follow!