Hi. Remember when I used to blog once a week or a couple times a month, and it was a way to justify my no baby book failure of a mother weird public journaling ways... and then I went 9 months without blogging... Well, I remember and I'm not proud. I'm not embarrassed that I haven't blogged, I could really care less if you all know the details of my life, or the statistics of my children, or if you see edited/framed pictures of us that I already slapped on facebook. But I must confess that I have not just stopped blogging, I kind of stopped recording ANYTHING or habitually doing ANYTHING or investing in much besides my 2 busy bodies.
Its been a rough year and I don't really know what to blame for my escaping some things that I love. Maybe the stress of a husband in law school, parents divorcing, friendships changing, a miscarried baby... the list goes on. But my friend posted a Mary Poppins saying the other day and I keep taking it out of context and applying it to almost every situation I find myself in...
"In every job that must be done there is an element of fun; You find the fun and "SNAP! the jobs a game!"
This silly saying doesn't seem to be fitting for the heaviness of life events I have listed, but for some reason that silly lady Mary Poppins kind of reminds me that I have a choice to make. A choice to stay frustrated at my husband or friend, A choice to take the hurt from others and turn it positive or negative, A choice to stay mad at myself for not cleaning as well as last yr, for not teaching the kids as many bible verses, for not studying the Word as much as last year. They are all facts, and I get to chose what I'm going to do with the feeling that the fact imposes on me. I do not believe I can always control the feeling. But I'm starting to feel responsibility for actions, and lack of them, after the feeling...
Take devotions....Soooo many mornings I have not jumped into prayer or reading because I don't know if its the right time for me every day, or if I can keep up with that habit... But it finally dawned on me...It doesn't have to be the time I pick tomorrow, but I'm kind of accountable for the choice I make right now...
Or relational upheaval...whether it be a simple disagreement or life altering shifts, it is so freeing to stop and ask God, "Hey, am I handling this ok? Can you show me if I'm in the wrong and cause me or them to change?" And then let it go. Stewing seems to only effect my mood, and not anyones action. Nagging usually escalates things in the wrong direction. But basing my mood on my conviction is the most relieving act I've ever made!
Now...back to blogging. I think I haven't written for so many reasons. I'm not sure anyone read it, I didn't want the world to know about what I felt like writing about, I was tired...ect ect...But lately its just been because I stopped a long time ago and didn't know if I had time to start it back up.
Well, I still don't know...This may be my only post till next fall, but I decided it was silly to not record things, because I didn't know if I wanted to record them tomorrow. Its like not working out because I didn't know if I wanted to do it all month (thats actually not an imagined scenario...= realities of Jan Feb & Mar)...a little is better than none. A couple recorded things now, means a couple that I won't forget later...A couple days in the Word vs none is just a little more I get to know about my Savior, and to choose peace making and prayer over frustration and nagging just seems to be working a whole lot better for me lately.
So with that off my chest...welcome back to my blog. I hope to record much of life that is pure joy that I want to never forget, and let my fingers express the other stuff too...so that I can glance down at it and remember that I get to chose to do with that feeling and sometimes its just not a load worth bearing.
ps (I didn't keep up with Januarys extreme diet measures. but thats a story for another time...)
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Quick moment of honesty...food Journey part 3
I am WAAAAAAAY transformed in my eating habbits. But in the last week...
- I've returned to coffee with Hazlenut creamer (less than before!)
- I have soy/coconut ice cream most nights (thank you Trader Joes) and sometimes put M&M's on it
- I grew a pant size or so...I have relied a little too much on nuts/apples/broccoli/beans and I've been soooo bloated. Like 3 months pregnant bloated. SO I'll have to do some research on different great foods to eat
- I have only done about 20% of organic/grass fed meat and no fresh sea food. My whole budget is going to fruits and veggies and if I were to get great meats/protein I would only afford produce for a day. So maybe next year we will see about maximizing our small deep freeze and buying bulk meat!
(I need to take a moment to recognize my sisters here. They each got me Gift Cards for Groceries as Christmas presents, and that shopping trip was so unbelievably amazing. Words cannot express how great that trip was and how phenomenal those gifts were!)
- I have eaten non paleo food. I have eaten chocolate chips, and peanuts, and non paleo fruits and veggies. I am not strict in that sense. But Paleo is just the best word I can find to describe a lot of my habits, so that's what I wrote :)
- I've returned to coffee with Hazlenut creamer (less than before!)
- I have soy/coconut ice cream most nights (thank you Trader Joes) and sometimes put M&M's on it
- I grew a pant size or so...I have relied a little too much on nuts/apples/broccoli/beans and I've been soooo bloated. Like 3 months pregnant bloated. SO I'll have to do some research on different great foods to eat
- I have only done about 20% of organic/grass fed meat and no fresh sea food. My whole budget is going to fruits and veggies and if I were to get great meats/protein I would only afford produce for a day. So maybe next year we will see about maximizing our small deep freeze and buying bulk meat!
(I need to take a moment to recognize my sisters here. They each got me Gift Cards for Groceries as Christmas presents, and that shopping trip was so unbelievably amazing. Words cannot express how great that trip was and how phenomenal those gifts were!)
- I have eaten non paleo food. I have eaten chocolate chips, and peanuts, and non paleo fruits and veggies. I am not strict in that sense. But Paleo is just the best word I can find to describe a lot of my habits, so that's what I wrote :)
Recipes I've tried...
Coconut Curry Butternut Squash Soup
I could eat this once a week. I love Butternut Squash. I am Obsessed with Curry!
I LOVED these. Joel was more of a tolerate/like. I forgot to push them down to flatten them, so I think it was more a error on the baker, and less an error on the recipe
I meant for these to be breakfast, but 3 children (2,3 and 4 years old) ate 9 of them in 2 hours...I ate the 10th one and thought they were a little bland, but nothing that a bit more salt, honey or extra banana couldn't cure ;)
Grain-Free Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars
Joel approved of these, and we all know that man does not mess around with his cookie bar experiences...
Pulled Pork
"this is all kinds of right" - Joel
surprisingly Delicious and filling!
evolution of Tori
We've all had it. Someone excitedly offers you food, and you hopefully accept. Trusting in their taste buds. Excited for your own. And then you take a bite. And you have to swallow. The swallowing isn't so hard, but your mind races to the reality of the post-swallow. You have to either keep eating or CRUSH your beloved friend. And what's more is that you're starving, and even if you eat it, you're probably not going to be full...the following is practically scripted; they look at you and say "not bad, right?! it was dairy free and sugar free! There was a sale at "health food store" and I bought 20lbs..." gasp.
Back track. Over Christmas I was introduced to the idea of Candida. Candida is the scientific name for yeast. It is a fungus that lives almost everywhere, including in your body. Usually, your immune system keeps yeast under control. If you are sick or taking antibiotics, it can multiply and cause an infection. Antibiotics promote yeast infections, including gastrointestinal Candida overgrowth, and penetration of the GI mucosa. While women are more susceptible to genital yeast infections, men can also be infected. Certain factors, such as prolonged antibiotic use, increase the risk for both men and women. People with diabetes or impaired immune systems, such as those with HIV, are more susceptible to yeast infections.(www.wikipedia.com)
So as my husband was busy with hobbies on Christmas Eve and my littles were preoccupied with Grandma's toys I read...for 9 hours. What is Candid/Do I have Candida/How do I cure candida...etc. Although I never have yeast infections I was convinced I had Candida, that it was causing skin issues and that sooner or later I would probably die because of it...
To make a long story shorter, I no longer am very concerned with Candida. I may have it, I may not...but I've gotten over my hypochondriac state. However with that whole day of reading, and random hours of flipping pages over the next 2 weeks, I am grossed out by processed food, by most Dairy products, and by the production of Grain. I am concerned that my body has an intolerance to Dairy or Grain or something, that its causing my skin to HATE me...and all that has caused me to go primarily Paleo since January 1.
I don't know if this is a temporary jump into a fad, or a life long adjustment to boycotting chemicals and dyes and GMOs, but I do know that I feel like I've been role playing for 3 weeks now.
I've went through sleeves of Garlic.
I've used over 12 onions.
When I'm bored, I run to the kitchen and start experimenting.
I spend insane amount of time washing dishes. And it hasn't stopped me from making another mess at the next meal.
I ate cabbage caramelized onions green beans and vinegar the other day and LOVED it.
I just spend an hour with my Benjamin turning zucchini into noodles...
My taste buds have went through metamorphosis and I feel like I should throw them a "coming out party." I have started to LOVE food, and not just pizza, sugar and such. I love whole foods.
So...back to my original story. I now get it. I get why my friends/coughsistercough/were so proud of their creations. I realized their taste buds weren't the ones that were broken! They made those declarations because they usually worked hard to get there. Because they were proud of the fact they weren't eating things that were ruining their body and mind (yes, I think they are connected). Because their bodies had stopped craving processed food, and they truly have mastered the art of using whole foods to flavor their food. I am a current foodie, someone who has much to learn, who has no idea how long I will stay, and cannot really afford my current passions, but who also cannot imagine ignoring what little I have learned.
So when you stop by, my kitchen will be messy and I will probably offer you a "dessert" with almond butter that I made in my food processor. But its ok, if you don't like it. Just lie to me, and say you ate just before you came :)
Back track. Over Christmas I was introduced to the idea of Candida. Candida is the scientific name for yeast. It is a fungus that lives almost everywhere, including in your body. Usually, your immune system keeps yeast under control. If you are sick or taking antibiotics, it can multiply and cause an infection. Antibiotics promote yeast infections, including gastrointestinal Candida overgrowth, and penetration of the GI mucosa. While women are more susceptible to genital yeast infections, men can also be infected. Certain factors, such as prolonged antibiotic use, increase the risk for both men and women. People with diabetes or impaired immune systems, such as those with HIV, are more susceptible to yeast infections.(www.wikipedia.com)
So as my husband was busy with hobbies on Christmas Eve and my littles were preoccupied with Grandma's toys I read...for 9 hours. What is Candid/Do I have Candida/How do I cure candida...etc. Although I never have yeast infections I was convinced I had Candida, that it was causing skin issues and that sooner or later I would probably die because of it...
To make a long story shorter, I no longer am very concerned with Candida. I may have it, I may not...but I've gotten over my hypochondriac state. However with that whole day of reading, and random hours of flipping pages over the next 2 weeks, I am grossed out by processed food, by most Dairy products, and by the production of Grain. I am concerned that my body has an intolerance to Dairy or Grain or something, that its causing my skin to HATE me...and all that has caused me to go primarily Paleo since January 1.
I don't know if this is a temporary jump into a fad, or a life long adjustment to boycotting chemicals and dyes and GMOs, but I do know that I feel like I've been role playing for 3 weeks now.
I've went through sleeves of Garlic.
I've used over 12 onions.
When I'm bored, I run to the kitchen and start experimenting.
I spend insane amount of time washing dishes. And it hasn't stopped me from making another mess at the next meal.
I ate cabbage caramelized onions green beans and vinegar the other day and LOVED it.
I just spend an hour with my Benjamin turning zucchini into noodles...
My taste buds have went through metamorphosis and I feel like I should throw them a "coming out party." I have started to LOVE food, and not just pizza, sugar and such. I love whole foods.
So...back to my original story. I now get it. I get why my friends/coughsistercough/were so proud of their creations. I realized their taste buds weren't the ones that were broken! They made those declarations because they usually worked hard to get there. Because they were proud of the fact they weren't eating things that were ruining their body and mind (yes, I think they are connected). Because their bodies had stopped craving processed food, and they truly have mastered the art of using whole foods to flavor their food. I am a current foodie, someone who has much to learn, who has no idea how long I will stay, and cannot really afford my current passions, but who also cannot imagine ignoring what little I have learned.
So when you stop by, my kitchen will be messy and I will probably offer you a "dessert" with almond butter that I made in my food processor. But its ok, if you don't like it. Just lie to me, and say you ate just before you came :)
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