My pregnancy so far...and Prayer for Baby Lewicki

I'm so incredibly tired that the likeliness of this email being eloquent, having correct grammar, or even making sense is slim - even slimmer than normal.  I just wanted to take a second to blog/process and ask for prayer!

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have had quite a different 2nd pregnancy.  The first time around was pretty seamless.  I even remember trying to make up questions to talk about at my Dr. apts. to make them a little less boring, and to make sure she knew I cared about my baby.  Other than throwing up when I brushed my teeth in the morning, and the last 5 weeks,  I loved being pregnant.

Fast forward to 2010!  We found out we were pregnant around 4 weeks.  I threw up a couple times, but overall was just pretty tired.  Around 7 weeks(I think) I was pretty shaky (It felt like my body kept falling asleep), and then I got pretty sick for a couple days.  Joel was leaving for a weekend conference, and I was nervous being home by myself with Benjamin, so I called my Dr., and she gave me a prescription for Zophran.  It was a miracle pill!  I took half a pill for a week, and then sparingly for the next 4 weeks.

Right around 9 weeks, I woke up in the middle of the night to a thunderstorm, and took a potty break.  I discovered I was bleeding quite a bit and called First Nurse.  The bleeding slowed down a lot after an hour, and the next morning the Dr. on call wanted to see me for an ultrasound.  The baby was beautiful, and we also saw an area of blood that wasn't harmful but had been created while the baby's home was being formed, and it drained out throughout the next week.

Things were going great, and I still had a small supply of Zophran for my "sick days" and the night before my 12 week Dr. Apt with my O.B., I had another bleeding episode.  This one was a little more intense, but after two hours the bleeding slowed, and the next morning the baby's heart beat was strong at 144 bpm!  Such an incredible sound.

Well, now I am 14 weeks, and last night I started bleeding again.  This time it isn't as intense as either of the first two times, but I'm having a little bit of soreness/cramping.  The first two times I was pretty scared, and although I'm definately concerned for my little ones health, and having moments of fear, my emotion is predominately frustration.

I am frustrated with myself for not being good at "taking it easy" and not doing much, as my Dr. instructed.  I am frustrated when I call and there isn't more my Dr.s can say besides "take it easy", and not much more to do than listen for a heart beat.  I am frustrated that when they ask me questions on the phone I don't know how to talk to them...I don't want to leave any important details out about what's happening and how I'm feeling, but I don't want to be dramatic or exaggerate.  My head is a constant battle!  I'm frustrated that sometimes this is more of a pregnancy to me,more than a little life.

So I'm asking for prayer for all the Lewicki's.  For me that I am smart about what I do, and don't do and remember to put my trust in God's perfect plan rather than Dr.s abilities...for Joel  as he tries to work from home and I debate on what to ask him to help with or not, and as he has the concern of our baby in his mind and has a TON on his plate with ministry/funding/life...For Benjamin as he is in an incredibly awesome time of life and discovery and learning, and obedience habits, etc...And for baby Lewicki2, that God gives that baby safety as its growing and that HE is glorified in the process.

Thanks for your prayers.  I appreciate all of you!