Only proceed if you are needing some encouragement in your baby's eat/sleep story.
For the rest of you...the following is really wordy and boring....Don't say I didn't warn you!
I LOVE being a mom the 2nd time around. Its not that I didn't love the first time - I loved Benjamin (that statement seems highly inadequate), I loved cuddling and I loved watching him grow and hit milestones...But I HATED making parenting decisions. I hated feeling as though I had to decide on a parenting method. I hated that when I desired schedule and structure, People thought I was making my baby suffer. I hated that when I stuck to structure I felt people thought I was cold to him, and that possibly he would suffer long term. I hated that it divided friend groups.
Benjamin was schedule-less for a while. I am foggy in memory of how he fell asleep. We did A LOT of bouncing. I think he began to fall asleep on his own around 3 months, and took 3ish naps a day. He slept through the night o.k. till around 4 or 5 months and suddenly started getting up 3+ times a night. That is when Joel and I said enough is enough and after 2 nights of patting his back and not picking him up, he was a sleep rockstar. Predictable for naps, Solid Sleep at night - as long as we were at home anyway. (Thats another story...)
Well its no secret that Violet has called the shots the last 7 months. She is held a lot, or wrapped with a Moby Wrap. She nursed to sleep, nursed to eat, and nursed to pacify! And we all lived happily ever after...0-6 months anyway.
I noticing Violet was a little more crabby than usual, and I started needing to do things without a 6 month old attached to me. I began to add up her hrs of sleep and it was well short of the recommended amount. I began trying to get her to sleep more often, but I would nurse her and she would just laugh at me, I would lay her in her bassinet and she would get so upset she puked, I would wrap her and walk and my back would be aching, but her little head would just pop out from under the cloth and she would smile at me. So after 7 months of her frequently sleeping with me and very rarely crying, the rules needed to change. She needed to sleep. Everything I read said that her sleep would improve if she could get to sleep on her own. So I had a conference with Joel and we came up with a plan.
We decided to take an adaptation of the Ferber Plan. She could cry for 3 min, 5 min, 7 min....etc up to 19 minutes. After every interval we would pat her back, and start again. This would be for two naps (with an optional 3rd) and bedtime. Also I would work to get in an Eat, Play, Sleep Pattern. We would do this for a Week and re-evaluate.
This was decided yesterday afternoon and around 4:00 it was obvious she needed to sleep. We set the timer and on the 9 minute stretch, she conked out at the 5 minute mark. At bed time, she fell asleep on the 7 minute stretch. Her morning nap we started with a 5 minute stretch and she was asleep at 5 minutes! And get this, she slept 1 hr and 45 minutes!!!!! (She usually only sleeps 30 to 45 min stretches!) I started to put her down again at 11:30 because she was acting tired. She cried and my momma instinct recognized it was a "different" cry, so I stopped trying. I think I mis-read her sleepiness. She fell asleep around 12:30 after just a few minutes of crying (broken up by one "patting" session) and slept another2 hrs. She woke up in the middle of the nap, and I knew she wasn't done sleeping, so I did nurse her back to sleep this time. The pro's seemed to outweigh the cons -if any! Around 5:00 she was acting pretty sleepy. I sang to her, laid her down and she was asleep within 7 minutes. This was just a 45 minute nap, which seemed perfect so as not to hurt our bedtime! Our 7:00 nursing session didn't go great but I foolishly tried to lay her down around 7:30. She cried for 5ish minutes when I knew something wasn't right. I went in, patted for a while, and eventually picked her up. She tried to eat my face off so I nursed her again. This time seemed a bit more satisfying for her, and then I laid her sleepy self down, and without a peep, she was out!
I say this all for just a few reasons...
- Because I'm flip'n excited that we are seeing super positive results - She's playing well without constant interactions, and she's sleeping longer!
- Because although I don't regret my 6 months of nursing glory, I am elated that as she changes, we're able to change with her!
- And for other moms out there with sleeping issues they are dealing with, and searching for a solution. I sympathize with you. I know its not simple. I know you and your baby will be O.K.!
- There is such a thing as a Wise momma who takes advice from Ferber, is Attached to her Baby who is Happy and Healthy. You don't have to only chose one method, but you do have to be moderately consistent and Lovingly gracious.
- And last but not least, when your baby is crying during your sleep training moments, remember how happy he or she will be when they are getting adequate rest and are well/fully fed!
Wishing you all lots of sleep and tons of cuddles!
2 comments:
Oh, I remember letting them cry and I have to say it was harder with Asher than it was with Phin. :) He was just so tiny!
I'm so glad that you are getting Violet off your back - literally. :) And how nice to have those precious *hours* of quiet time by yourself or with Benjamin.
I'll pray that it continues to go well and you may need to remind me of this method if we have another one. :)
Glad you are so excited and everything is working out so well. Even though we did BabyWise, we weren't SUPER strict about every detail and it's still seemed to work out and help our life so much. It's good you have found a method that works for you and your family. I like what you said at the end about them being happier once they are well rested, it's so true.
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