The end of Maryville MO

^{1 John 4: 13-15}

"And how bold and free we then become in his presence, freely asking according to his will, sure that he's listening. "

We're home!  Although the first two days of the trip I was highly doubting why I was along, and didn't just go to my parents for the weekend, I am so glad I went along to Maryville MO.  I am also so glad to be home.  

I asked God to be very active  in my heart during our weekend away, and give me a renewed passion for college students, for ministry, and even for Navigators.  Although I have to process the fullness of the weekend, saying that God was active is an understatement!  My biggest take aways are not specific things that were key points of any session, or even purposely taught, but I think a lot of God's lessons come from a teacher who is praying that God will use them, and a student who's heart is being called to action long before the lesson is taught.  Here's some of what he's trying to teach me:

• He started whispering to me long before the weekend began.  After the first night, continuing on through out the conference, God made it very clear how badly he wanted me to be in conversation with him, through prayer.  He humbled me, and then   in spite of my failure to obey him and take advantage of this powerful spiritual weapon in the past, he invited me ever so gently (and loudly) to start now.  
• What I am lacking to find in our ministry and our life, is not because Nav's has failed to provide it, but because I am lazy in accomplishing it.  
• Pride is the root of almost ALL my sins.  I choose my pride over His holiness. PRIDE=contending for supremacy with God.(Jerry Bridges)

                                                  

• My lack of mirroring Jesus in my life is ONLY because I choose otherwise.  God isn't sitting deciding not to make me holy, I daily decide that other things look more desirable, and turn from Him to do them.  This reality makes me sick.

This is far from a complete list of what is going on inside my head, and heart, and notebook.  But it's about all that I can swallow right now.  Now the question is the same as after every conference/retreat: What to do now...? A helpful analogy of how to handle all that I am wanting to be handled, I actually missed while checking on Benjamin, but Joel shared with me later.  The VERY short of it, points to a busy speed boat making the bay crazy with its noise and waves, and then leaving.  But there is calm quiet water with nothing to show for the activities of the boat.  Compare that with a farmer whom no one notices, but over a long period of time quietly and with hard work, harvests a good crop, that feeds the village and nourishes people and creates more farmers with more harvests and more nourishment.  I don't want to be a speed boat, raising a ruckus with nothing to show for all noise.