Maryville MO

Joel and I have driven a lot of places together...but right now we sit in Maryville MO, and I, miss chatty Kathy, cannot find words to describe it.  First of all, it is in the very middle of NOWHERE.  Now, we have driven through NE, OK, TX, and IA, but never have we driven on such ridiculously windy roads for such an insane amount of time.  It starts getting sketchy about 10 miles before the border of IA and MO, and then its like driving a slightly windier trip between sully and pella for over an hour.  I got car sick for the first time! :(

Well, Maryville has about 15 thousand people, but I dont know where they hid them. I believe most of them are in the small university here.  That must also be there reason for the multiple hotels.  I'm sure the people here in Maryville are splendid, but I cannot think of a single reason other than visiting family that you would gander over to "these parts".  Other than a Nav conference :) which is why we are here.  I'm excited for tomorrow, when i actually join Joel in many of the sessions.  I'm going a little stir crazy here in the hotel, so thankfully the staff portion of the conference begins tomorrow, and child care is provided!

I stink at being a hotel mom.  It is currently two hours past Benjamin's nap time and I still hear him talking in his packnplay.  Last night, sleeping didn't go super smooth, and I was trying to give in, and let Benjamin just sleep with us.  Unfortunately he has an obsession with pillows, and kept getting so hyper and crazy that sleep wasn't possible.  This morning, he was so tired he fell asleep (after refusing to sleep in his packnplay) in my arms in about 1.5 minutes.  I didn't risk putting him down, so he slept on my chest in our bed.  This afternoon however, he wasn't interested in duplicating our lovely cuddle time.  I have tried duplicating our home routine, i've tried reading super long, juice in a bottle, letting him cry it out, setting him infront of cartoons...AHH! for about 45 minutes he has been playing with his Wild Animals book in his pack n play, and I'm hiding out underneath the sink, so he can't see me.  Its glorious.  

All that said, Benjamin has LOVED the pool and it has been so fun to watch him be so hesitant and interested and then giggling with all the splashes.  The water is super warm so mom loves it too!  I've enjoyed a little extra Benjamin time, where I'm not distracted by To Do lists!  However, every "rule" that I've established the last 9 months has completely gone out the window...nap times, germ issues, safety meausres, bed times, toy choices...Right now, we just do whatever works!

Benjamin sitting nicely before he decides he'd rather fight mommy and stand and dance!

heels

I think i am going to start wearing heels again.  They are what's missing in my life

i just need a moment

I would like to say first and foremost that I, Victoria Louise Van Wyhe Lewicki LOVE being married to JoelBen and have never been happier than being a mom.  

Now that I have said that, I need to inform  you all of something terrible.  I think that  the social butterfly, creative hair designer, usually loud, clothing lover that you all knew and possibly loved, has vanished.  I can't find her anywhere.  And the other horrible thing is, that I don't know how hard I want to look.  

I am heavily contemplating leaving my post to the two paragraphs that precede.  But I won't.  

You see I think that if I gave it valiant effort, I could eventually locate one and maybe all of those people.  I sometimes even want to.  In the last hour I have been finding old friends and acquaintances blogs, and I that is what has located me in my current funk.  Only yesterday we were all shuffling through college, minoring in style and majoring in boys, and I felt very equivalent, and a few times felt victory in my state in life's realities.  And as I went through and "caught up" with their current lives (aka facebook and blog stalking), it hit me: They don't just look at fashion, or wish question their taste or watch creative cooking shows.  They are making the fashion, they are having the look, they are in their kitchen experimenting and succeeding.

So although I could chat HOURS and go on and on about my mundane state, I will stop myself.  I do however want to leave myself a list of facts that should comfort me, motivate me, and possibly even do the same for some of you...

• Although i may not have money, energy, or a will for constant style any longer...Hearing Benjamin giggle super hard when we're wrestling in our pajamas makes me not really care
• Life is a series of choices.  So maybe I will take one of Benjamins naps, and not worry so much about if the floor is mopped, but instead experiment with design, look at current hair, or learn how to sew so I can create some awesome accessories
• No one should concentrate this heavily, or this publicly about such silliness during that oh so depressing time of month.  

And with that, I think I will go stylishly eat a very large and very chocolaty bowl of ice cream.

library adventure

Benjamin and I had quite the weekend.  Joel was under the weather, and had a very full ministry weekend.  I had a feeling that Benjamin and I would be more of a hindrance than a help in getting him through the weekend, so we took off for Nana's house...Unfortunately we took off in the middle of a mild snow storm, and a trip that should have taken 1 hr and 15 min, took 2 hours and 30 minutes.  A third of the way through the trip Benjamin decided to wake up from his short nap, and  about 15 minutes later, he started whaling...a cry that I knew was a declaration of discomfort.  After about 20 minutes of his distress cries being shouted from the back seat, I pulled over at a rest area, and changed him from a sopping wet cloth diaper to a disposable.  Trauma #1 dominated!  After driving and driving and driving, we were finally 2 minutes away from nana and papas front steps.  Well, we would have been, if I hadn't slid and missed the turn.  I found a driveway about a mile away and pulled in to turn around...only after pulling in my car didn't want to pull back out.  I was stuck.  So about 15 minutes later my mom, dad and a nice man driving by, got me out.  My dad pushed my car(which has horrible tires) up to my parents steep hill, and we were finally safe in their cozy house.  I wish my story were done, but after a great weekend with Auburn, Colin, Nana and Papa, we headed back to ames.  Joel was to be arriving around 4, I thought, and we would get there earlier to get unpacked.  I got Benjamin out of his car seat, only to find the door locked.  Not a problem for most home owners...But for some reason, my key was not on my key chain.  Instead of just opening the garage door, I panicked. You see, my phone was dead.  So Benjamin and I loaded back up in the car, and headed off to the library.  Meanwhile, Joel got home early.  He was surprised to find us MIA, and after sometime of trying to calm his nerves, he set out to find us, hoping for the best and fearing for the worst.  He was calling 911, state troopers, asking my brother in law to search...ect.  Remember, I dont have my cell phone...Well, eventually Benjamin and I came back from the library, and found a note on the door to call Joel.  We all united, hugged and just sighed with relief the weekend would soon be over!
Here's some some of our great library finds!

Envibum

http://www.envibum.com

I'm SUPER intrigued by these and might have found my new savings project!

...sigh...I am writing to share my last 30 hours of cloth diapering experiences.  Many of you will laugh at my naive state with which I jumped into the cloth world.  But I have always learned best by hands-on demonstration & experience.  I didn't make it to any of the locations in Des Moines to be taught, so I opted for the experience route...and this is info on my experiences thus far:

• I purchased the Econobum diaper set (3 covers, 12 prefolds), and after a coupon and a rebate check, it will have cost me $25 -  a STEAL!
• I do NOT regret it
• I need someone to show me precisely how I am to fold them and use the MILLION snaps that they have (right now I am only using snaps to attach the sides, and i'm not sure if that is because Benjamin is big, or I'm not doing it right)
• Benjamin is a HEAVY wetter.  He soaked through during his morning nap, and during his nap in the car...momma driving in a snow storm + Benjamin in a cloth diaper for over 2 hours = a story for the baby book!  Consequently we are no longer using them for naps, or car rides over 20 minutes.
• My biggest fear - poo - has been eliminated.  I think wiping poo off a bottom has a larger gross factor than wiping it off a diaper...plus Benjamin's poos are firming up...
• If I had a million dollars, or just $100, I would get diapers with velcro and inserts...Snaps are ok, but take a little extra time, and the pre-folds (which is a stupid name, because they dont come pre-folded) are hard to position correctly...the short way doesn't adequately cover Benjamins big booty and front, and the long way pops out the cover, which gets him wet all over when he tinkles.  So lazy me would like velcro for my wiggly little boy, and inserts for a not so bright momma.
• I will continue to use them and they will be great for home use with mommy...and I will be saving TONS of money
• Whenever #2 enters the picture, I will invest in more hearty, more expensive diapers for night time, naps, and maybe travel, and probably still use these for when we are home.  For now, I am currently happy being a part time disposable user, and part time cloth.  Everything in moderations, right?!

So there you have it.  I tried to be very honest about my findings for those of you researching and scared to take the plunge...My advise: stop starring at the water and get your feet wet!  Whether you get one nice $20 diaper, or a $50 econimic pack like me, you'll will not have wasted any many.  Disposables would have eaten that $20 up and sat in the trash.  So experiment for the time it takes to go through one pack of diapers, and even if you decide its not for you, I'm positive you won't be any poorer, and you'll have some great stories!

Potty Practice

For those of you who don't know, Benjamin has begun Potty Practice.  He is not Potty Training.  There is no pressure on him to perform, no treats if he tinkles or things withheld if he soils his diaper.  I'm just calling it an introductory phase.  So far So good.  Usually he tinkles 1-4 times a day in his froggy potty, and has gone stinky once.

I would tell you the story of how I got interested in infant "potty training", beginning to end, but I dont remember.  I know that a year ago I heard a story of a couple potty training from birth, and I laughed very hard. Then sometime in the past few months a combination of many thoughts called me to action: the disgust of the cost of diapers, being tired of changing them, and somehow hearing of children in most other countries are out of diapers much earlier...somehow in the midst of all those thoughts I decided, "Benjamin, you can sit by yourself...If I'm going to take the time to change your pants, I guess I can take the time to sit you on the potty." 

Here was the other thought:  If we're going to sit you on the potty, I want this eventually (and quickly) lead to you telling me you have to go potty.  That means, you have to dislike being in your diaper...and that means I should have you in cloth.  So as my hesitant research of cloth diapers began, and off I went to target to buy a Benjamin size potty.  (I reassured myself I wasn't wasting any money, because even if I quit after a week, we would eventually try again!)

So, after more than a week of potty sitting, the froggy is still out!  He tinkles frequently and has loved reading his "Wild Animals" book while sitting.  As for the diapers...

I practiced one day and took long wash cloths and pins, and made two make shift diapers...they were very stone age looking, and I even laughed at myself when pinning them on my 2009 born baby.  But they served their purpose in showing me that cloth didn't take a lot more time, and weren't that messy.  To make a long story short, I found a great deal, and my Econobum pack of diapers (3 covers and 12 inserts) should arrive this afternoon.  After my mail in re-bate, it will have cost me $25, so even if I write again in 3 weeks to say that I'm quitting Potty Practice, or hate Econobum cloth diapers, I will have not wasted money...Just maybe a little time.

Here's hoping for a success!

77 BOOKS

About two weeks ago, Benjamin and I made our first trip to the library.  I have been to libraries before. I have been in many new places with Benjamin.  I read over 9 books to Benjamin a day!  However, none of these facts prepared me for the vast array of countless books on countless shelves and boxes and the smallness of my little boy, and my lack of knowledge of children's books.  What kind of books did I want to bring home?  How many new books would be appropriate for a 2-3 week period.  How was I going to carry them and Benjamin from the check-out counter, to the car, in the rain?  Add to the story that we were on a time crunch...

Well, since then, I have vowed that my next visit to the library will have a plan of action, will not have a time restraint, and will be one of the highlights of the week.  With that as a goal, I spent a little time researching books.  I am far from done, and haven't had the time to look at many of these books in detail.  However, part of the joy checking out books is that I can preview the book, with Benjamin right on my lap, for free.  So here is a list of books, that we can check out and check off the list.  We'll see how long it takes us!

1. the pokey little puppy
2. tootle
3. saggy baggy elephant
4. scruffy the tugboat
5. where the wild things are
6. eloise
7. we're going on a bear hunt
8. freight train
9. the napping house
10. the happy egg
11. fast food
12. where's my teddy
13. counting kisses
14. sheep in a jeep
15. corduroy
16. a pocket for corduroy
17. how i became a pirate
18. are you my mother
19. diary of a worm
20. everybody poops
21. cookie count
22. i hope you dance
23. i know a rhino
24. baby baluga
25. brown bear brown bear what do you see?
26. llama llama mad at momma
27. five nice mice
28. duck and goose
29. grumpy bird
30. pip and squeak
31. the runaway bunny
32. mike mulligan and his steam shovel
33. the carrot seed
34. swimmy
35. harold and the purple crayon
36. the rainbow fish
37. the little engine that could
38. fox in sox
39. go dog go
40. my book about me
41. opposites
42. peek a boo i love you
43. dinosaur stomp
44. barnyard dance
45. my friend rabbit
46. the grouchy ladybug
47. the monster at the end of the book
48. the pout pout fish
49. olivia
50. horton hears a who can you?
51. home run!
52. where's your smile crocodile?
53. five little monkeys
54. beatrix potter nursery rhymes
55. a potty for me
56. no matter what
57. how do dinosaurs learn their colors
58. what does bunny see?
59. chicky chicky chook chook
60. airplane flight
61. whats wrong little pooky
62. your personal penguin
63. snore dinosaur snore
64. we're going on a lion hunt
65. everywhere the cow says moo
66. where willy went
67. where the sidewalk ends
68. the giving tree
69. runny babbit
70. falling up
71. who wants a cheap rhinoceros
72. a light in the attic
73. the tale of peter rabbit
74. the tale of benjamin bunny
75. the tale of jemina puddle duck
76. the tale of squirrel nutkin
77. the tale of tom kitten

Some of our favorites here at home :

1. hop on pop
2. dr seus a b c's
3. one fish two fish red fish blue fish
4. pat the bunny
5. the very hungry caterpillar
6. i love you through and through
7. how do dinosaurs play with their friends?
8. God made me
9. the going to bed book

LOVE

Happy Valentines Day everyone!  It's CRAZY to think that I have been married for 4.5 hears now.  It has been a roller coaster of life experiences and emotions every since Joel and I met 6.5 years ago.  I remember ONE DAY ONLY of knowing Joel and not thinking of him as a great possible, eventual, and now incredible husband.  (I don't remember thinking it on the very first day that we met!) He has never stopped surprising me with his skills, abilities, and desire to grow.  His love has been quite undeserved, and for that I feel indebted!  Joel has transitioned from a hilarious charming 21 year old, to decision maker and committed suitor, to a challenger and encourager, to a faith stretcher and life changer, a loving daddy, a self grower, and without a shadow of doubt....my best friend.  God has blessed us more than were capable of understanding.  

I read a book over a year ago, and as bad as my reading memory is, the phrase - "Holiness vs Happiness" - has not escaped me.  There are definitely moments in marriage where I cling to the desire to become more the like Jesus though trials in the relationship.  But I can say wholeheartedly that there are quite a few more (or at least more memorable) moments when Joel has me laughing so hard I want to pee my pants.  Entering into parenthood has only compounded those experienced of complete joy and unconditional love.  Now not only do I get my husband, but I have a mini Joel running around!  It doesn't get much better than that. :)  

Well, although that was sappy and a bit much for many of you, it was pretty great to recall all the blessings God has given me over the years, through Joel, and to make me stop and pause at all the critical and slightly nagging things that come out of these tips much too often!  I hope you all are able to stop and think of all the gifts you've been given, whether through a spouse, significant other, family, and God's son!  

Enjoy the slideshow, LOVE, of some of the pictures over the past 6.5 years!

goodbye JANUARY!

So much snow!  I am glad to see February, and cant wait to see May!  I hate dirty snow, so this is not my favorite time of year.

My baby is over 9 months old! Can you believe it?  This morning as Joel and I ate our cereal and watched last nights season premiere of LOST, I looked up and saw Benjamin sitting like a big boy on the couch chomping on his animal crackers, and I couldn't believe how old he looked.  The last 9 months have been so great, that sometimes the negative Tori gets nervous and thinks something bad has to be waiting around the corner, because it cant stay this great forever!  (Don't get me wrong.  There have been times that weren't super fun, and pretty frustrating, but overall I know I've been very fortunate.)

So Benjamin had his 9 month appointment.  He doesn't quite weight 23 lbs and is completely done with nursing.  (Nursing was one of those things that had some highs and way too many lows!  I can't wait to do that process differently with #2 someday.)  After playing with baby food for a few months and failing, we have went straight to soft table food, and have been EXTREMELY successful.  Benjamin loves strong flavor and texture.  We like sweet potatoes, carrots, kiwi, beets, chicken, pizza, guacamole, pears, peaches, veggie puffs, animal crackers,cottage cheese and more!  he usually has about 24 oz of formula a day, and although he can hold is bottle himself, he has not figured out his sippy cup!  Its driving me mad!  He army crawls everywhere and shuffles along the couch and foot rest.  he transitions between sitting and standing are not super graceful, but its only a matter of time.  He still loves books, and could play with his shadow for a long time.  Its adorable!  He is sleeping around 10 hrs at night and takes two 1 1/2 hr naps a day.  He loves clapping (with his hands and bare feet) and waving "Hi".  Joel and I sometimes think he's saying "HI", but it has yet to be confirmed. :)

We're working on getting some sign language taught.  Mostly the word, "more".  Right now, a wave is his sign for everything.  I'm thinking about buying a potty chair and just setting Benjamin on it after meals.  I've been hearing about kids from across the country who are potty trained very early due to the parent or care provider just placing them on the potty regularly.  I'm pretty naive about the process and might quit after a week, but I'm very intrigued and the idea of being out of diapers before he's two sounds pretty awesome.  I'm also needing to challenge myself to be patient and have him start to pick up his own toys.  Although he doesn't understand the concept completely, he's very capable.  I would love if picking up messes became a habit right away.  I don't handle clutter in the living room well. I just need to be patient while he SLOWLY puts things back!

We have been baby proofing the house, and the only "DANGER" area that remains a problem are the registers.  Benjamin loves to play with them and twice he's found them without me catching him and drawn blood.  He's such a curious little boy and I have a feeling that many painful discoveries are to come!  

Well, thats whats up with Benjamin!  Hope you have a fantastic February and feel so much love you dont know what to do with yourself.  Happy Valentines Day!