9 Months

Dear Violet,
Momma is kind of sad tonight because I just realized you turn 9 months tomorrow.  I don't see how that is mathematically possible because I feel like I just had you 3 months ago.  I was never very good at math...

Oh Violet, I feel so upset with myself.  I feel like the last 3 months (and maybe even longer) I have grumbled and complained about you.  Well, not about all of you, just about your obsession with nursing, and less than perfect sleep habits.  I'm sorry.  Just the other day it hit me, how good you really are, and how much your sleep could be worse.  And quite honestly, even if you were crabbier, nursed more, and slept less, I'm realizing that life would still be o.k. and I would still be head over heels in love with you! (don't get any ideas...)  So I'm done wishing away our 5 -15 minute nursing sessions a day, and I'm taking responsibility for my own tiredness and doing my best to help both of us.  If you're never a sleep rock star like your brother it's completely o.k., I need someone to be an early bird with me!  And if I were to be perfectly honest, the biggest reason I want you to take a bottle, is so I can leave you with Nana for my birthday, and you're worth sacrificing a birthday for.  I get another birthday next year, so I can wait.  :)

You are so much fun.  You have this deep belly laugh that is incredible.  You love when your brother laughs at you  and he is obsessed at making you laugh.  You love eating his feet, which completely grosses me out, and also love sitting under his chair during supper so you can eat his crumbs.  I try to prevent it, but there is only so much one momma can do!  Benjamin also loves tickling you, and gets very jealous when I play patty cake with you, or sing a song, or...anything that involves just us.

You have been so adorable lately when your daddy gets home.  I put you on the ground, if you aren't already there and you crawl so fast over to his feet and smile so sweetly.  You like being tickled by me and Benjamin, but daddy does it best!  You are still a mommas girl in crowds, but here at home, you are needing me less and less.  It's very bitter sweet.

I would have to look back at my posts, but I feel like you started crawling right around 8 months and within 10 days, you were pulling yourself up on stuff, and taking steps along the furniture.  I think you will be walking in the next 6 weeks.  Your little legs aren't so stable yet, so we'll see!

Back to the sleep thing.  I can sum it up best to say, "you've been teething..."  I think you will walk much faster than your brother, but, your teeth are MUCH slower.  causing MUCH more pain.  preventing MUCH more sleep.  For a while you were waking up three times a night.  not cool.  We got home after a weekend of camping and a night at Nana and Papa's house and I put you in the basement.  My hope was that you would sleep better, I would sleep better, and if you chose not to sleep I could just bounce you down there, without nursing, and without waking up the boys.  After night #1 you woke up only once, and I'm not convinced you aren't legitimately hungry that one time, so I nursed you back to sleep.  But you slept 11 hrs, with one feeding in the middle and I would be VERY ok if we duplicated that tonight.  Getting to sleep is a little unpredictable lately.  I was just going to give in and nurse you to sleep till we stop someday, but a) everyone says you'll sleep more solid if you can get yourself to sleep and 2) you stopped falling asleep after eating.  So sometimes you conk out while eating, and sometimes you cry a little while and then let me rock you to sleep, and sometimes you cry yourself to sleep.  You have little norm.  I guess thats o.k.

I love you miss Violet Ann Eloise.  Today before lunch I sat at the table feeding you apples and blueberries, and your brother not wanting to miss any of the action crawled up on the chair behind me...those chairs really aren't big enough for two!...and I wanted so badly to stop time.  You both were giggling about something, and  Benjamin was giving me kisses, and you were doing your signature smile with your lips pierced, and I had to stop and soak it all in.  I'm so thankful God lets us feel that kind of love, and as twisted as this world can be, days like today makes it bearable.  So thanks for being so cute, and so stinking easy to love.

PS  you can stop growing now. :)