Thursday, October 30, 2014

Hello, Goodbye, Hurry up & wait

I should really break up this post into a couple different posts, due to the wide spectrum of events floating through my head, but alas...If I didn't ramble, it wouldn't be true to character. :)

I woke up this morning with the excitement of an early baby appointment...and also to a VERY stuffed up Violet.  What was meant to be a family field trip to the doctors office became a solitary apt for Momma.  Daddy stayed home with sniffles (one from a child with a cold, the other from tears of despair from her brother when he found out he couldn't come hear the heart beat). Joel has been to all my appointments which are usually due to an emergency type situation, but this was just a routine heart check and a hope to answer activity/travel clarification questions.

To be honest, I was pretty shaken up at the beginning of the apt.  I walked in with great spirits, independent attitude and assurance of a healthy baby (many baby kicks!) But the doctors first 2 statements were, 
"Hi, how are you today?" [good] 
"No pregnancy concerns or complications? [...]

I believe my medical caretakers are competent, but their success of communicating confidence to me, that they understand my pregnancy and KNOW whats best wasn't high before and plummeted even lower at that moment.

I shared with her that i was kind of concerned about bleeding I had been having the last few days(that was different than the 8 previous weeks), and that I called and it should be on my chart...We talked further and she asked me to stay for an impromptu Ultrasound.  I somewhat expected it, and double checked the time (for my "sitter"/Joel's class schedule) and we walked to the ultrasound techs room.  

My baby was a beautiful model as usual:
are they not the most beautiful legs you've ever seen?!

The long and short of it is again a PERFECTLY healthy baby.  In fact, peanut is measuring in the 97th percentile and was so fun to watch!  However, there was a quite large seemingly new area of fluid/blood.  I mentioned something about how this babe seemed completely oblivious to the mayhem happening around him in its lifetime...vanishing twin, sub amniotic bleed, and now what appeared to be a sub chorionic bleed. The UTech(not our favorite - Lori) heard me say Vanishing twin, and jumped on it.  It was her theory as to why this new area was bleeding.  However, I think that is malarky.  I guess its possible that my body is reacting to disturbances it had before, but it seems quite obvious to me that my body is NOT just now passing red blood from the loss of that embryo 7 or 8 weeks ago.  

When I went back to visit with the OB, these were her thoughts:  It is possible that this is a shift in my past bleeds (things get bigger and move around when the baby/uterus grow) but because of its size and location it seems like a very new area.  The placenta is fully intact and functioning quite well  so it is not an urgent or critical situation.  Happy Sigh.  

But...before I party too hard, its a slightly mysterious area.  How did it get there, why is it so big and we haven't seen it before...And that is why I'm being referred to a specialist.  The OB of the day wants other eyes to take a peek at it.  (and after I shared my very ill feelings toward my early visit with her, I should share that she called me from her car this afternoon to chat with me about my appointment.  I decided to forgive her for not reading my chart better.  :)  

So my current status is on the couch.  No lifting, not much activity other than walking, and over all, no exertion.  Knowing that my baby is healthy makes all of this easier to handle other than my "no travel" instructions.  This is difficult because my second grandparent passed away today, and I would be flying out tomorrow to be with family if I had permission.  But alas, my marching orders will be this way until at least Wednesday when i can get into the specialist.  Its quite sad timing.

So that is a "summary" of my sad Goodbye of the day that I don't get to go home for, my not so patient feelings of waiting until Wednesday to see the specialist, and my fun HELLO LEGS photo :)

Despite all the whining on here, Im really in great spirits.  God has been faithful, and not just in the life of my babe.  I see his Grace in the patience of my kids, a husband whom is running on empty and is getting little to no help from his wife (and yet we still LIKE each other!), great friends and lots of texts and well wishes :)  Hoping for no baby news until Wednesday!


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