Wordy

Joel's gone, and I'm feeling a high volume of un-used words combined with some extreme emotions.  You've been warned and I am no longer responsible for how many of those words you read. :)

Well, I'm still bleeding. (surprise) And, I'm in less pain because I'm doing much less activity. (however it still starts when i am up and around for long) I start the day with a busy hour, then its school at the table, play time for the kids and about two hours of rest and reading for me.  I do minimal activity for lunch but maybe get up and around for 20 minutes.  Then quite time and if I'm honest, I take a nap or waste time for an hour or more.  The rest of the day is filled with post quiet time cuddles, visits from neighbors, sitting at the park or who knows what!  All that to say, I'm not doing too terrible at doing little :)  (yes, i'm patting on myself on the back right now)

Thats my physical status and activity level, but my brain has been nuts tonight.  I got really curious about my twins, and knowing if they were identical and when we lost...  I (typically) forgot to ask these questions at any of my last Ultra sounds, but I am quite sure that the babies were identical twins.  I think we had 1 gestational sac and 2 embryos inside...Identical Twins

Well I remembered hearing an EARLY heartbeat at 6 weeks, and after processing with a dear friend, i felt assured that they didn't miss a heartbeat (which would have NOT made a difference in the pregnancies viability), but that it happened VERY early.  This made me feel peaceful.  Almost comforting that I hadn't missed out on "getting to know" the babe through the few weeks of pregnancy I might have had.  Well, Let me clarify, I still feel like I missed out, but not because of anything that could have gone any differently.  (my concern came because there were two obvious masses on the first US and we were told one was the yolk sac).  

Well, I'm less frantic about this babe than I was 3 hours ago.  There is comfort in "knowing" about your body, and your baby.  Even one whom you will never meet.  Many things will remain a mystery.  How long I will continue to "do little", how long I will bleed, and lets not forget the obvious, how in the world it will be going from Zone to Man to Man.  But as Violet reminded me tonight, "the Lord is with you, wherever you go!", and I will add to that, that he is with me, he paved the way for me to go down the path, and he has great plans for my relationship with him, and his name being proclaimed along the way.  I should probably stop praying for ruby slippers, and just get a ride with him!